The hardest part of this was losing you, obviously.

The second hardest part was losing everyone else.

There’s been a few exceptions. My sister, and a very, very small hand full of friends. But everyone else just disappeared. Those who were “our” friends. And the worst part of that is, I don’t know why, and my mind runs wild with trying to figure it out. 

Is it just awkward being around the bereaved?
Is it because I remind them too much of you, and that is painful?
Were they actually just your friends, and not “ours”?
Do they blame me for your death, the same way I blame myself?

The thing is, I needed them. I needed them all more than ever.